Life After her Series

Hello Guys, I am pretty new at this but this past few weeks have been very terrible and as a way of healing I have been encouraged to write out my feelings so here goes. These past couple of weeks have made me realize emotional pain will always be greater than physical pain. Physical pain can subjected to treatment for relieve while only time heals emotional pain. Am at a point in my life where I despise love and never want to get married.Today is my ex's birthday, the only girl i managed to fall in love with after dodging love for so long broke my heart. This past few weeks I have been trying so hard to forget about her and have been successful to a little degree of but seeing those bbm updates and dp's today set me back emotionally. As of this moment I write with a bleeding heart, my ink is coated in blood and a bottle of vodka besides me(Vodka helps me with the thinking). I admit I made some mistakes in the relationship(am mostly a fling person so this was kind of my first serious relationship ) but I made sure my I kept my girl happy at all times. I showered my girl with attention, care , gifts, I was always there for her , most times I became her emotional punching bag and trust me her rage wasn't child's play. I got hurled insults most times; some days a simple 'how was you day' could unleash a bucket load of insults towards me and after everything she might not apologize and on rare days that she does apologize it's never more than one word 'sorry' or two words if am lucky 'am sorry'. Despite all this incidents I still loved her for her imperfections and stood by her in all things(and before I forget she almost tried to kill me)  I guess it's true what they say 'Once a girl knows you love her more than she does she will take your feelings for granted' . To be vey honest when I was growing up I always thought I might never get married due to my trust and commitment issues till I met this girl and my life changed totally. She was my muse, she had this effect on me I didn't understand, I could put her image in my head at the gym and keep on working out like an animal, I could have a bad day but when she sends me a text no matter how mad I was I smile. She made me so happy and I thought maybe God put her in my life to get me married after all but in the end I got dumped. The painful part about this break up is the fact I put so much effort into us working out. I went out of my comfort zone just for us to be together and it's still didn't work out. At an earlier point in our relationship she entered into her bad mood funk and called off the relationship so I resorted to begging her to reverse her decision so I had this sad and about to cry face. I didn't cry but if I had to do it to get her back in that moment I would have because I sincerely wanted her back in my life but she took it as weakness. Even though we got back together after that day she said it was a point that changed our whole relationship as she started seeing me as being weak. To cut the long story short I eventually lost the girl on the basis of being weak due to that event . I never felt so devastated in my life, when I got the bbm text my heart started pacing and hurting at the same time. God knows I begged and I just kept on begging to get her back all to no avail . As I begged she got more hostile and kept on treating me like I never mattered in the first and I just got more depressed with each passing day. The worst thing was that it happened during my exams which made it extremely difficult for me to read. I could not pick my books and read 4 lines without my mind drifting to her. Life after her has been terrible if I could sell my kidney to get her back I would right now but I guess things never go as we plan. I'll have to stop here for now I'll be writing about my experiences and my thoughts every week till I eventually get over this girl. I sincerely hope that happens soon

Anoymous xxx

IT'S SAINT PATRICK'S DAY

It is March the 17th, the day of the festival of Patrick. It is an official Christian feast day that is observed by the Catholic Church, the Anglican Communion, Eastern Orthodox Church, the Lutheran Church and most importantly the church of Ireland. For devoted Christians they might want to start the day off by going to church services. But one thing to keep in mind is that it is  a fun and colorful day where everyone gets to wear green. And if you are not seen in green you get pinched lol it sucks I know, especially when you are not into celebrations like that. But saint Patrick's day is also special because he was a legendary saint  because he described the holy trinity using the three-leaved plant.  That is what  the celebration is all about. The festival is observed in different countries like Ireland, Japan, Malaysia, Russia, South Korea and many more. In the United States it is not a legal holiday but it is duly recognised and observed throughout the country as a celebration of Irish and Irish American culture. So eat, drink moderately, and display the color Green 😄😄 

Making Peace/ Letting go

Good day my huntys!!! lol I am finally back and kept to my word. Today I want to talk about making peace within yourself. Well I am talking about it because I recently made peace with some things in my life, friendship and relationship wise. Since the year started I have been trying to know what I can do to improve myself emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually, and boy it has been a roller coaster ride for me. Sometimes I shut myself out from the world and just be in my own thoughts but literally I am dying inside to just let it all out. but you know The Lord never sleeps, he always seems to find a way  when there is no way. Just last week which was spring break, I was watching TV and it was Pastor Joel Osteen, somehow his words always does wonders to my every-being. He was talking about how we as individuals cling so tight to people or things even after that issue has been over. He emphasized on how God has already planned your life and how he knows the helpers he will send your way to make your life easy and simple. But you know we are as humans all have this mixed emotions about the people so dear to us, whenever there is a conflict and we are trying to solve we feel that we might get individuals hurt. And that should not be the case because every individual in your life that you come in contact with is placed to either direct you or to teach you a lesson, sometimes they are placed in your life to pave way for you so you can improve. Everyone has a purpose in life for you and vice-versa. It is okay to feel down or feel hurt but do not let it overwhelm you and consume you to do things you really don't want to do. You should rather stay around positive people who will keep you vibrant and have you thinking less of situations going through your life. Never put yourself in denial, accept your wrongs and work on ways to be better, seek help when necessary and trust and believe you will feel 100 times better than what you felt before. I am happy i have made peace with situations because I really do not know where I will be right now if I did not do so. It is still a working progress but you know Rome was not built in a day, so I will just embrace this beautiful journey I have decided to embark on. I hope this helps I love you all.
Thank you Sheila. E 

Welcome

Hey ST readers, I am back I know I have been gone for a while, well it's because I have been too busy with school and work and I recently had spring break which was so Amazing. So I decided to update my blog to quickly update you on things that have happened to me and  talk about issues or thoughts that have been going through my mind. Lol I want you all to know that I am doing good and I will definitely not be gone for this long anymore. It has dawned on me that I need to balance every aspect of my life now. And you all who view this page I owe it to you all to always be there for you because I know my posts helps in one way or the other. Well this is just a welcome post, the next post will be one to look out for. It is kind of deep for me but I would love to share with you all just because I love you all. 😄 well that's all for now folks

Sheila . E xoxoxo ❤️

Last day of the Year 2014

As this year ends I will like to reflect on the things that have happened to me so far as this year goes. First and foremost I am glad I was able to live through the good and bad of certain situations, this year was truly an eye opener for me, I lost and gained things and people, also I realized you can't always please people and cannot always expect things to be the way you want them to be. You can want an individual to change but it's not worth it if they don't want it for themselves, I had to learn things the hard way, it comes to a point where you have to give up something or someone you want for something or someone you need and gain from the mistakes and take it as life's experiences or lessons. Secondly I want to give my utmost appreciation to my favorite girls Abiola Iranloye and Daugette Caulker aka Abby and Dee, they are friends who eventually became family and are both seen like sisters to me because regardless of our individual personalities we find away to have a mutual understanding of things I love them both like crazy and I pray that our friendship keeps on growing into something greater. Also 2014 has also brought exciting changes to my lifestyle, this year I decide to embark on a healthy journey and it turned out great I achieved what I wanted this year but I am aiming higher for something better in the year 2015, one thing to keep in my mind is that when you believe in yourself and put God first everything can be achieved nothing can hold you back. My everyday Motto is FAITH, CONSISTENCY AND HARDWORK this words keep me going to achieve anything I need in this life especially for this year. My prayer for everyone for the year 2015 is for God to reveal the secret to obtaining open doors and for the Lord to exceed our expectations for this year. Have a safe New Years Eve and I wish you a prosperous new year. Be Safe.... 

                                        Sheila E. x😄

Why Slander ?

This picture done by Penie who is digital illustrator got slandered by all types of people, but I never thought that out black men will be the first to start the slander and negative feedbacks. This picture is so powerful to me, but the top comment that this picture got was 'tell me something I don't know.. All you fake bitches out there, you all we still remain the same' that really irked my skin, like my every being was dumbfounded by the  comments of this young men. It is sad to know that Black men can not uplift their black women that try to be successful in life, and it's ironic how we black women stood behind you all in terms of all the things that have been going on the society in terms of the MIKE brown, Trayvon Martin, and Eric Garner situation  Etc. we stood by you all, uplifted you, stood in the front line of protest and rooted for you all the way. And this is how you choose to pay back for everything by slandering a picture that meant no harm but was meant to be something of positive vibe to uplift someone's spirit, who says change can't happen? We all need support from one another, we tend to be reactive instead of proactive and you all wonder why the white supremacist tend to see us as the laughing stock or animals that  we are when we are the ones that project that kind of attitude towards ourselves. It is truly saddening. I just hope that things get better with us as we go into the new year. Something has got to give for the things that go on in this life and we need to stand together instead of tearing one another apart. Always remember that Human lives matter. Thank you 

                                              Sheila E. 

My sister's personal note

My sister Ashley was a victim of bullying, she experienced so much hatred and found it hard to accept herself for who she is because of the traumatic event that happened in school all because of the big transition from Nigeria to the United States. One of her biggest issue was when people could not accept her for who she was maybe her accent or her color they made it seem like a big deal. She became so insecure and her confidence was on an all time low level that she even skipped school and Also thought of suicide. But I feel certain things happen for a reason. when she eventually told me what was going on I was her support system, every member of the family did everything to make her feel good about herself, and miraculously she overcame everything. Her confidence grew, she knew when to say no when necessary no one could say nothing to ever bring her down and to show her improvement she decided to write a personal note to help someone who was like her out there, her note literally brought me to tears, I think it did because I am really proud of her accomplishments and she chose to turn the negative into positive I will like to thank my mom and Aunty Antoinette for being our biggest supporters in everything we do, there is no other like them I will love them  till forever. So I will like to bless you all with the inspirational note written by my sister Ashley Ezugwu 

I hope this really makes someone have a change of heart about their life, and know that nothing negative lasts forever. Always remember to be you no matter the circumstances and always reach out when you are in doubt for you are not alone there is always help everywhere you turn. Be blessed 😄 

 Thank you very much 

                                              Sheila E.