Life After her Series

Hello Guys, I am pretty new at this but this past few weeks have been very terrible and as a way of healing I have been encouraged to write out my feelings so here goes. These past couple of weeks have made me realize emotional pain will always be greater than physical pain. Physical pain can subjected to treatment for relieve while only time heals emotional pain. Am at a point in my life where I despise love and never want to get married.Today is my ex's birthday, the only girl i managed to fall in love with after dodging love for so long broke my heart. This past few weeks I have been trying so hard to forget about her and have been successful to a little degree of but seeing those bbm updates and dp's today set me back emotionally. As of this moment I write with a bleeding heart, my ink is coated in blood and a bottle of vodka besides me(Vodka helps me with the thinking). I admit I made some mistakes in the relationship(am mostly a fling person so this was kind of my first serious relationship ) but I made sure my I kept my girl happy at all times. I showered my girl with attention, care , gifts, I was always there for her , most times I became her emotional punching bag and trust me her rage wasn't child's play. I got hurled insults most times; some days a simple 'how was you day' could unleash a bucket load of insults towards me and after everything she might not apologize and on rare days that she does apologize it's never more than one word 'sorry' or two words if am lucky 'am sorry'. Despite all this incidents I still loved her for her imperfections and stood by her in all things(and before I forget she almost tried to kill me)  I guess it's true what they say 'Once a girl knows you love her more than she does she will take your feelings for granted' . To be vey honest when I was growing up I always thought I might never get married due to my trust and commitment issues till I met this girl and my life changed totally. She was my muse, she had this effect on me I didn't understand, I could put her image in my head at the gym and keep on working out like an animal, I could have a bad day but when she sends me a text no matter how mad I was I smile. She made me so happy and I thought maybe God put her in my life to get me married after all but in the end I got dumped. The painful part about this break up is the fact I put so much effort into us working out. I went out of my comfort zone just for us to be together and it's still didn't work out. At an earlier point in our relationship she entered into her bad mood funk and called off the relationship so I resorted to begging her to reverse her decision so I had this sad and about to cry face. I didn't cry but if I had to do it to get her back in that moment I would have because I sincerely wanted her back in my life but she took it as weakness. Even though we got back together after that day she said it was a point that changed our whole relationship as she started seeing me as being weak. To cut the long story short I eventually lost the girl on the basis of being weak due to that event . I never felt so devastated in my life, when I got the bbm text my heart started pacing and hurting at the same time. God knows I begged and I just kept on begging to get her back all to no avail . As I begged she got more hostile and kept on treating me like I never mattered in the first and I just got more depressed with each passing day. The worst thing was that it happened during my exams which made it extremely difficult for me to read. I could not pick my books and read 4 lines without my mind drifting to her. Life after her has been terrible if I could sell my kidney to get her back I would right now but I guess things never go as we plan. I'll have to stop here for now I'll be writing about my experiences and my thoughts every week till I eventually get over this girl. I sincerely hope that happens soon

Anoymous xxx

IT'S SAINT PATRICK'S DAY

It is March the 17th, the day of the festival of Patrick. It is an official Christian feast day that is observed by the Catholic Church, the Anglican Communion, Eastern Orthodox Church, the Lutheran Church and most importantly the church of Ireland. For devoted Christians they might want to start the day off by going to church services. But one thing to keep in mind is that it is  a fun and colorful day where everyone gets to wear green. And if you are not seen in green you get pinched lol it sucks I know, especially when you are not into celebrations like that. But saint Patrick's day is also special because he was a legendary saint  because he described the holy trinity using the three-leaved plant.  That is what  the celebration is all about. The festival is observed in different countries like Ireland, Japan, Malaysia, Russia, South Korea and many more. In the United States it is not a legal holiday but it is duly recognised and observed throughout the country as a celebration of Irish and Irish American culture. So eat, drink moderately, and display the color Green 😄😄 

Making Peace/ Letting go

Good day my huntys!!! lol I am finally back and kept to my word. Today I want to talk about making peace within yourself. Well I am talking about it because I recently made peace with some things in my life, friendship and relationship wise. Since the year started I have been trying to know what I can do to improve myself emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually, and boy it has been a roller coaster ride for me. Sometimes I shut myself out from the world and just be in my own thoughts but literally I am dying inside to just let it all out. but you know The Lord never sleeps, he always seems to find a way  when there is no way. Just last week which was spring break, I was watching TV and it was Pastor Joel Osteen, somehow his words always does wonders to my every-being. He was talking about how we as individuals cling so tight to people or things even after that issue has been over. He emphasized on how God has already planned your life and how he knows the helpers he will send your way to make your life easy and simple. But you know we are as humans all have this mixed emotions about the people so dear to us, whenever there is a conflict and we are trying to solve we feel that we might get individuals hurt. And that should not be the case because every individual in your life that you come in contact with is placed to either direct you or to teach you a lesson, sometimes they are placed in your life to pave way for you so you can improve. Everyone has a purpose in life for you and vice-versa. It is okay to feel down or feel hurt but do not let it overwhelm you and consume you to do things you really don't want to do. You should rather stay around positive people who will keep you vibrant and have you thinking less of situations going through your life. Never put yourself in denial, accept your wrongs and work on ways to be better, seek help when necessary and trust and believe you will feel 100 times better than what you felt before. I am happy i have made peace with situations because I really do not know where I will be right now if I did not do so. It is still a working progress but you know Rome was not built in a day, so I will just embrace this beautiful journey I have decided to embark on. I hope this helps I love you all.
Thank you Sheila. E 

Welcome

Hey ST readers, I am back I know I have been gone for a while, well it's because I have been too busy with school and work and I recently had spring break which was so Amazing. So I decided to update my blog to quickly update you on things that have happened to me and  talk about issues or thoughts that have been going through my mind. Lol I want you all to know that I am doing good and I will definitely not be gone for this long anymore. It has dawned on me that I need to balance every aspect of my life now. And you all who view this page I owe it to you all to always be there for you because I know my posts helps in one way or the other. Well this is just a welcome post, the next post will be one to look out for. It is kind of deep for me but I would love to share with you all just because I love you all. 😄 well that's all for now folks

Sheila . E xoxoxo ❤️

Last day of the Year 2014

As this year ends I will like to reflect on the things that have happened to me so far as this year goes. First and foremost I am glad I was able to live through the good and bad of certain situations, this year was truly an eye opener for me, I lost and gained things and people, also I realized you can't always please people and cannot always expect things to be the way you want them to be. You can want an individual to change but it's not worth it if they don't want it for themselves, I had to learn things the hard way, it comes to a point where you have to give up something or someone you want for something or someone you need and gain from the mistakes and take it as life's experiences or lessons. Secondly I want to give my utmost appreciation to my favorite girls Abiola Iranloye and Daugette Caulker aka Abby and Dee, they are friends who eventually became family and are both seen like sisters to me because regardless of our individual personalities we find away to have a mutual understanding of things I love them both like crazy and I pray that our friendship keeps on growing into something greater. Also 2014 has also brought exciting changes to my lifestyle, this year I decide to embark on a healthy journey and it turned out great I achieved what I wanted this year but I am aiming higher for something better in the year 2015, one thing to keep in my mind is that when you believe in yourself and put God first everything can be achieved nothing can hold you back. My everyday Motto is FAITH, CONSISTENCY AND HARDWORK this words keep me going to achieve anything I need in this life especially for this year. My prayer for everyone for the year 2015 is for God to reveal the secret to obtaining open doors and for the Lord to exceed our expectations for this year. Have a safe New Years Eve and I wish you a prosperous new year. Be Safe.... 

                                        Sheila E. x😄

Why Slander ?

This picture done by Penie who is digital illustrator got slandered by all types of people, but I never thought that out black men will be the first to start the slander and negative feedbacks. This picture is so powerful to me, but the top comment that this picture got was 'tell me something I don't know.. All you fake bitches out there, you all we still remain the same' that really irked my skin, like my every being was dumbfounded by the  comments of this young men. It is sad to know that Black men can not uplift their black women that try to be successful in life, and it's ironic how we black women stood behind you all in terms of all the things that have been going on the society in terms of the MIKE brown, Trayvon Martin, and Eric Garner situation  Etc. we stood by you all, uplifted you, stood in the front line of protest and rooted for you all the way. And this is how you choose to pay back for everything by slandering a picture that meant no harm but was meant to be something of positive vibe to uplift someone's spirit, who says change can't happen? We all need support from one another, we tend to be reactive instead of proactive and you all wonder why the white supremacist tend to see us as the laughing stock or animals that  we are when we are the ones that project that kind of attitude towards ourselves. It is truly saddening. I just hope that things get better with us as we go into the new year. Something has got to give for the things that go on in this life and we need to stand together instead of tearing one another apart. Always remember that Human lives matter. Thank you 

                                              Sheila E. 

My sister's personal note

My sister Ashley was a victim of bullying, she experienced so much hatred and found it hard to accept herself for who she is because of the traumatic event that happened in school all because of the big transition from Nigeria to the United States. One of her biggest issue was when people could not accept her for who she was maybe her accent or her color they made it seem like a big deal. She became so insecure and her confidence was on an all time low level that she even skipped school and Also thought of suicide. But I feel certain things happen for a reason. when she eventually told me what was going on I was her support system, every member of the family did everything to make her feel good about herself, and miraculously she overcame everything. Her confidence grew, she knew when to say no when necessary no one could say nothing to ever bring her down and to show her improvement she decided to write a personal note to help someone who was like her out there, her note literally brought me to tears, I think it did because I am really proud of her accomplishments and she chose to turn the negative into positive I will like to thank my mom and Aunty Antoinette for being our biggest supporters in everything we do, there is no other like them I will love them  till forever. So I will like to bless you all with the inspirational note written by my sister Ashley Ezugwu 

I hope this really makes someone have a change of heart about their life, and know that nothing negative lasts forever. Always remember to be you no matter the circumstances and always reach out when you are in doubt for you are not alone there is always help everywhere you turn. Be blessed 😄 

 Thank you very much 

                                              Sheila E. 

Apology

Hey ST readers I am sorry I have been away for a while, I have just had a lot going on with my life that I will be sharing with you all soon, but I will want to start in full effect after New year, it's going to be a fresh start and lots of exciting things to talk about based on issues going on in the society and other interesting stuff, so hold still for it's about to be a wonderful year of fun blogging, I love you all, please be safe for the rest of the holidays 😄 

                                                  Sheila E 

Consistency

The truth

My baby's birthday

Happy 9th Birthday baby girl 

Food for thought

She was free

Cynthia was a well able bodied person who had things going for herself, a renowned journalist, an ambassador for children's wealth and a devoted Christian, and a family filled with love and support. Cynthia was happy with all she had accomplished but somehow she still felt so empty and not satisfied.. What was she missing she asked herself? a man to love and cherish her and had the same ambitious goals as her  , that's what she thought she needed or even better what she wanted. It was time for her to step out of her comfort zone. Meanwhile.. On the other side of the world is a man named Kevin, kevin is a guy who grew up with a rough childhood even though he was born with a silver spoon he lacked only one thing and that was that of love and happiness. His dad was an abusive man who in the end got served for the injustice he committed to his wife. So with no one to support and love Kevin's only consolation was gospel music for some reason he seemed to be at peace with it he then later became a minister at his church. 

On a blessed wonderful Sunday fate seemed to have brought Cynthia and Kevin together, they both clicked instantly . Was it love at first sight? Yes it was... Oh how she blossomed at the sight of the man who she knows she Is going to spend the rest of her life with. He too was never ashamed to show her off to friends and other relatives they seemed to be happy or so they thought.... Six years has passed as a married couple but within those six years has been years of  brutilization   for Cynthia, a house of violence and abuse, here is a woman who has everything but seems to have nothing, who was strong but now so weak to the point that she thinks each day will be her last. How can the man she married, loves and cherish be intimated by her success why has she fallen so little in his eyes 4 miscarriages and still no sign of remorse, bruised from head to toe but all are hidden from loved ones because of the fear built in her.. Cynthia steadily praying for a miracle to happen, hoping that the man she once knew will come back to her and lavish her with love  so she can feel like a woman again. What was the vow for she wondered? Was it not to be there in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer and for better for worse?! is this what marriage really is... Kevin with his frivolous acts and infidelities never cared one bit of Cynthia's feelings always making unnecessary apologies which never matched up to his actions, he felt so powerful and owned her, nothing mattered to him, Cynthia was like totally dead to him... Cynthia thought of many ways to get out so she can live again but all to no avail. Hmm or so she thinks until quite a miracle happens.

Unknowingly to Cynthia there has been a man who has always been watching her every step his name was Josh, was a business man he had his own company and was blessed abundantly, he lost his wife and kids in a plane crash and his world crashed right there he did not think he had anything to live for without them and never thought he could love again. Since josh is a successful business man he knew so much about Cynthia's company and her accomplishments he had a sudden interest in her works and wanted to find a way to get her to be involved with his line of business. who would have thought that they were neighbors. Haha it's funny how God wield in mysterious ways.... Josh and Cynthia met at a house warming party at their well endowed estate. They talked and exchanged numbers then it got to constant meet ups and dates and then feelings started brewing up between them, but Cynthia could not let it go on she was so scared she always thought of what Kevin would do and she knew that the only way she could be free was if Kevin was dead, she wanted to kill him for all he had done to her but just the mere thought of murder got her trembling with fear and disgust she loved him no doubt but he did does deserve to be killed... Josh knew about the troubles she faced and was so furious he said anyone that tries to lift a finger on a woman should not deserve to be called a Man. Unfortunately for Kevin his days on earth were numbered he got into a grievous car accident and never made it out alive... It was not really a relief to Cynthia but it was bittersweet she prayed for a miracle to happen for her husband to change but not him to be taken a way by death but the the miracle she got was Josh this whole time he has been next to her and never knew and God brought him her way, they both gained and now she was free and she felt complete. 

This story was written to stop domestic violence going on this world, it is good to speak and never feel that you are alone, there are places for help and open shelters for you to be safe, fight for your life. 

Say No to Bullying

Hello there ST Readers, today I will like to concentrate on the facts of bullying. The statistics of bullying show that bullying is a growing problem among teens and children. There are different types of bullying and they are as followed; verbal bullying is typically based on name calling and teasing. Social bullying involved the spread of rumors, breaking up friendship on purpose. Physical bullying involves hitting, punching, and shoving, and cyber bullying involves the use of internet and other digital technologies to harm others. 

Now let's talk about the characteristics if a bully. Who is a Bully? A bully is an individual who uses their strength, popularity,  and power to harm and manipulate others. Their targets are mostly individuals weaker in size or may have difficulty defending themselves. A bully's sole intention is to destroy you physically and emotionally. 

For any person involved in this kind of situation or knows someone who has been a victim of bullying it is important to know the signs to look for. 

The top signs to look for is the victims character, for example always making statements of suicide, has trouble sleeping, has few friends, always coming home with unexplained injuries, making excuses not to go to school and the change in eating habits. When you understand this signs it prevents the individual or group from becoming bullies or helps them not to become a victim of a bully. Victims will need serious support and counseling to resolve their issue of their emotional inadequacies. High-five to the individuals who have higher self esteem and are less likey to fall victim to the attacks of bullying. Remember do not be a bystander be the one to make a difference in a child's life. 

Being a girl

What is it like being a girl? Do you find it insulting when people say you hit like a girl? First of all you are born to be a girl and there is no right or wrong way in doing what you feel is good for you, the most important thing to keep in mind is the fact that whatever you are doing works for you and you are doing it right. Being a girl does not necessarily mean that you are limited to things, everyone is enabled by God to explore different things in life. Your achievements can be of anything of your choice whether it be academics, sports, etiquette, morals etc.. You can be good at anything you put your mind to. For young girls being told that they act like girls can be really difficult for them because they are at a stage where they are getting to know their abilities and their interests. That statement throws them off, that's why they need to be around adults with strong values and morals to be developed in all aspects of life, spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally, etc.. 

Moreover, we should come to realize that girls are different, we do not all have the same qualities that will be possessed by another individual we are all special in our own God given way, so use whatever ability or interest you have and soar do not be relentless, find what you love and don't let such statements like "you hit like a girl, run like a girl,throw like a girl" throw you off because the fact of the matter is that you are a girl and you are doing it right. 

 Thank you 

Hook ups versus set ups

There is a big difference between being Hooked up and being set up, when you are being hooked up with someone it is basically based on the friend that is being hooked up. Now look at this scenario Cynthia knows all about Kevin loves and adores him, knows his likes and dislikes yet Cynthia hooks Kylie up with Kevin only to be in their business, and when things start going good for Kevin and Kylie Cynthia will want to break everything up with them just so she can have Kevin to herself. Now a set up is the best because this is based on you the individual getting to know the other person very well on your own without the help of anyone, for instance smith knows Kevin is single and knows about Kylie, all smith does is to introduce Kylie to Kevin and they both hit it up based on your personal approach and common interest there is no drama involved in this kind of relationship. This kind of situation may lead to marriage or it might even end that same day but still you got to know the people who want the best for you and won't hinder your progress in life. 

Cold day for me